Yes, it's true. Last night, Brian and I came to the conclusion that the reason why we're going to have to start/plant a church is because God knew that no one will hire us.
With an undergraduate degree from Oral Roberts University (epicentre of charismatic thought) and a masters degree from Regent (epicentre of non-charismatic thought), we've discovered that we're damned if we do and damned if we don't....or because we did and didn't.
Basically, we're not charismatic enough for the charismatics anymore and too charismatic for everyone else!
Something that not a lot of people outside of our tradition (nondenominational, autonomous, charismatic churches) understand is the inherent suspicion we have of education. Our tradition arose out of an experiential expression - basically, the taking of the Gospel to the working class desperate for an experience with God. Charismatics of course can be found in almost every denomination because it basically means that we believe that the 9 gifts of the spirit (
charismata) that Paul discusses in 1 Cor. 12:1-14 (wisdom, knowledge, discerning of spirits, prophecy, faith, speaking in tongues, interpretation of tongues, working of miracles and healing) still operate today. Most mainline denominations within Christianity believe that most, if not all, of those gifts were just for the early church and are no longer in operation.
We're often confused with Pentecostals since that was our "root" but we tend to reject the absolutism of Pentecostalism (such as the elevation of speaking in tongues in particular like saying "speaking in tongues is the only baptism of the Holy Spirit" or "you have to speak in tongues to be considered 'truly saved' and other horsesh*t like that. Plus most charismatics not within Pentecostalism reject the literalism and legalism of the denomination.) We actually started as a renewal movement within mainline denominations but it appealed so much to the "ignorant and uneducated" that it seemed to scare off the intellectuals rather quickly.
As time went on, charismatics have kind of split into two camps - those with a more evangelical tendency (like Vineyard churches) and those in the traditional "Word-Faith" camp like Kenneth Hagin, Kenneth Copeland et al where most of the controversy lies. Most people within Christianity are aware of the fact that almost all growth in Christianity these days is within the charismatic/evangelical movement. And not just within the western world but throughout Asia and South America and Africa, there is a groundswell renewal and revival taking part, usually accompanied by the signs, wonders and miracles associated with charismata.
When most mainline Christians think of charismatics, they think of the old time revival preachers in tent style meetings, begging for money so that God can give you "100 fold return". They think of spectacular healings, chaotic meetings with people jerking and shaking, falling to the ground and yelling in tongues. The truth is that, while those things do go on, it certainly isn't prevalent or the norm. (Side note: Most of us are quite a bit more normal than that, just for the record. For instance, I believe in the 9 gifts of the spirit, but I don't hoop and holler in strange languages, nor do I slam people into the wall while praying for healing.)
As a result of these things, charismatics have been seen as the "black sheep". Initially, the mainline groups ostracized us saying in effect that they didn't think we were even Christians, let alone part of the Body of Christ. At the very least, they treated us like the part of the body that they are ashamed of. This resulted in a hard tack away for us. We became suspect and entered into an "
us vs. them" mentality. We were excluded from conversations, when someone within their group had a charismatic experience - either divine healing or an unexplained word of knowledge or even *gasp* speaking in tongues - they were quickly silenced or kicked out to the alley with the rest of us. This resulted in a deep and abiding suspicion on our part of mainline denominations and therefore, their theology. We were left without a lot of theological foundation or scholars even. In that vacuum, some crazy theology developed - some crazier than others (does anyone else remember the Gold Teeth thing of the late 90s? Oy.).
Within that void, we developed the opinion that those that were not charismatic lacked the leading of the Holy Spirit, perhaps lacked the "full expression" of the Spirit and what's more, lacked the true life changing power of God. And that meant that we grew to accept the belief that not only was it okay if a preacher or a pastor was uneducated theologically but that it was, in fact, preferred. We believed that if you went to seminary or anything more formal than a year or two of Bible school (at one of the accepted charismatic centres such as CFNI or Rhema etc.), you were at risk of "losing your fire" or losing your conviction. There was a tacit understanding that people in seminary didn't believe in what we believed so if we went there, our conviction - our "fire" if you will - would be sucked out of us. We saw mainline denominations as stuffy, snooty, trust-fund people. Liberals that hadn't worked a real day in their lives. They were richer than us. They went to prep schools. They wanted religion as long as it didn't mess up their plans. They wanted the Gospel to fit their lives where as we fit our lives into the Gospel. We were passionate, throwing ourselves headfirst into prayer, fasting, missions work, caring for the widows and the orphans while the United Church, Anglicans, Presbyterians and Methodists sat in their beautiful churches. We scoffed at their "social gospel" that didn't "set people free" or "get them saved" from eternal damnation. After all, what profits a man to gain the world but lose his soul? we reasoned.
There's about 100 years of charismatic history for you.
Now, decades later, mainline denominations are seeing the growth of evangelicalism and particularly charismatic Christianity. Now that the class warfare aspect of it has (hopefully) worn off, a lot of mainline denominations are welcoming the discussion of charismatic gifts. They were becoming more open to different expressions of theology. They are recognizing that we are, in fact, part of The Body of Christ. And they are experiencing the same things we are and preaching things that sound suspiciously like our doctrines. Things like the importance of the Word, the necessity of a personal, deeper relationship with Jesus and even *gasp* that Jesus is active today and able to actively lead us.
But we've already taken our ball and gone home.
Now that the rest of the Church is opening the door to us, our attitude has become "Too little, too late, Jack."
In the "old time" charismatics, there remains that suspicion particularly of education at a non-charimstic/evangelical school.
So that brings us up to me and Brian.
Since we started our journey a few years ago that eventually lead to Brian enrolling at Regent for his graduate work, we've discovered that most of our friends and family members and fellow-charismatics are downright worried about us. Everyone from our pastors to our families to our dear friends, have reservations about the road that we are on. Some have been more overt while others just check in now and then with a "still speaking in tongues?" They quietly question our other friends or parents about whether or not "we've changed" since we went to seminary. Whether or not our questions are leading us away from our roots (yes in some cases, no in others). We have felt others say seemingly poisonous comments about education or theology or our journey within postmodernism with a smile and the "concern of a brother/mentor/friend". A double check on our reactions to see if we'll take the bait.
I think that we are a bit on the hinterlands right now for charismatics. Our friends and mentors trust us but they are watching us closely. They're worried that we'll lose our fire or worried that we'll forsake our tradition. We feel a sense of suspicion from some people. Particularly, that they have "no use" for Regent. (Of course, that just baffles me. If every single Christian could sit in just one of Ross Hastings' classes, I think the world would be plunged into revival never before seen. It's Gospel, baby and it's changed our lives! In a way, we feel like for the first time, we're really understanding the full Gospel of Christ, the true narrative of God, the POINT, if you will. It's like it was a puzzle - our background gave us some pieces but we needed this to create the whole picture.)
There is a group of charismatics that are theologically sound (imagine that!) and well-educated, able to sift the grain from the chaff when it comes to our charismatic theology. (I like to think Brian's one of them...) There is tremendous opportunity for charismatics. We have a lot of the "fire and passion" but lack the strong theological foundation. A lot of times our preaching or our corporate worship is limited to "practical life application" or simple, easy to grasp concepts. That doesn't make it wrong just narrow. There is tremendous breadth and depth within theology.
What's funny is that, contrary to popular belief, we've actually become more charismatic since being in seminary. We've definitely changed our theology in certain areas, dropping some points off and adding others. But we've never been more convinced of the activity of the Holy Spirit across all denominational lines. We're seeing the connectedness of the Church. We are seeing we have so much more in common than we ever thought.
I see that there is a group of us - mainline and outsiders - that are sick of labels and infighting. We simply love God and yearn for restoration of God's people. So who cares if you speak in tongues and I don't? While we still hold to the main points of our tradition, we have truly rejected the cultural aspects of charismatic/evangelicalism. We question those cultural conditionings that we've been taught are jsut part of our theology. I think that that's part of the reason why theologians are desperately needed in our charismatic, evangelical non-denominational churches - to call bullsh*t when need be! We tend to major on the minor things and take a ghetto-mentality, sequestering ourselves from life. We've allowed some dangerous theology to enter into our consciousness but have been unable to identify it.
However, there is the stigma of being an ORU couple. In Regent, Brian is quite the novelty. In his classes, people and professors want to know what he thinks. His friends have said to us (without meaning to be snotty), "I never knew a charismatic could be so brilliant!" They literally had never even met a charismatic before. It was almost funny. They are fascinated and a little repelled by our tradition but eager to learn. They ask questions like "How could I hear the voice of God?" and "What do you mean when you say that you 'felt called' to such-and-such?" Oral Roberts University on your theological CV is almost as off-putting to them as Regent is to us. They think of things like "Name it and claim it" and "If you don't give $8 million bucks, I'll die tonight in the prayer tower" (thanks for that, O...). Quite the notoriety to contend with!
We feel certain that church-planting is in our future but we don't know if we'll do that first or if we'll take some more time to work within established churches that then plant or what. We do know we love to pastor and can't imagine doing anything else - with all it's headaches. But we realised last night that on Brian's CV, he's unlikely to inspire confidence from either side of the room.
It's like we're standing in the middle, trying to straddle and unite. Which might mean that's why we don't feel like we fit on either side anymore!
So I'll take today to pray and wait on God. I always find this season of 40 days as one of heightened awareness for me spiritually. 