In which Apples to Apples never met this family

Have you heard of this game, Apples to Apples? I have had it since Texas when I used to play it with a rowdy group of high school girls that were in my life group. I have packed it around, move by move, because it is a lot of fun to play. (Just ignore the fact that Mensa picked it as a favourite.)

The gist of it is that one card is drawn (usually a descriptive word like "fantastic" or "fabulous" or "filthy") by the judge. Everyone else choose a card from their seven cards of nouns (words like "homework" and "Madonna" and "picking your nose") that they feel best describes that word. They pass the card to the judge. The judge evaluates them all - with the "help" of the entire cast bellowing out their reasons for choosing that word and why it is, in fact, the best word of them all. The judge then decides - completely arbitrarily - which of the words they feel is the best one to describe that word. The one they choose is the winner of that round. You play, taking turns as judge, until you reach either breaking point of laughter or the prescribed number of cards to win.

So we played last night. Which is newsworhty in itself. The only game we play as a family is Cribbage Death Match. Because my father despises board games. Like hates them with a grand, unrelenting passion. But we guilted and badgered him into it as only two daughters can, so by the time 9 o'clock in the evening on Christmas Day rolled around, he was perched in a chair, glowering at us over his 7 cards.

When the word "hopeless" came up, I was convinced I had the winner when I tossed in "social security" but I didn't know my audience. Adam had never heard much of the USA's retirement system and chose Brian's contribution of "Choir Boys". Evidently, neither one of them are a big fan of Glee.

For the word "heartless", my father laughed until he cried over my sister's assertion that "Roman Numerals" are the worst culprit. He gave her the win for on that one for sheer cheek, much to our consternation. Roman Numerals. Honestly.

And, no lie, I was the judge for the word "Mischievous" when this conversation ensued:

Me: The word is "mischievous."

Mandy: Here's the winner! Here you go. Think "leprechauns." I will win this one. They are sneaky little buggers. Nothing better in that stack than leprechauns.

Dad: Yeah. That's totally true. But you know the only thing more full of mischief than leprechauns?

Me: What?

Dad: Vampires.

All right then. Evidently, when we play this game, it's more Apples to Oranges.