(But I won't be changing my blog name. After all, how does Post-Emerging Mummy sound? Terrible.)
It's been a long time. Almost 10 years of hanging out on the margins of the movement, eavesdropping on the conversations, deconstructing and thinking and talking.
The main reason I'm over it has nothing to do with theology or a lack of conferences or resources or conversation.
I'm over it because it feels like that's all it is now.
Just books and blogs, just slap-fights over terminology and finger-pointing. It's been a long conversation. Talk, talk, talk, talk. Always the same people talking. And the tone has gotten a little self-righteous, a bit holier-than-thou. Only we're not so holy about things like swearing and sex; it's more about social justice and who is posting more buttons on their blog for the One campaign.
The main reason I'm over it has nothing to do with theology or a lack of conferences or resources or conversation.
I'm over it because it feels like that's all it is now.
Just books and blogs, just slap-fights over terminology and finger-pointing. It's been a long conversation. Talk, talk, talk, talk. Always the same people talking. And the tone has gotten a little self-righteous, a bit holier-than-thou. Only we're not so holy about things like swearing and sex; it's more about social justice and who is posting more buttons on their blog for the One campaign.
There isn't any compelling reason to stay there anymore.
I'm trying to live a real life here and this isn't helping. I've written before about my frustrations. But I hung on.
And now I've realised that, somehow, I've let go. I haven't made a big decision to do so. That would be like saying "I've decided to outgrow my shoes." It simply happened. It doesn't fit me anymore.
The emerging church movement is a big influence in my spiritual journey. But a fork in the road has come and I'm not going along with Tony Jones or Brian McLaren anymore (by the way, at some point, I'm sure TJ will realise how weird it is that he won't address the dissolution of his marriage - the lack of comment is getting bigger than any comment could have been. Gracious. So much for flat hierarchy, community and transparency). I had a good laugh about the obituary of the Emerging Church and tend to agree with Andrew Jones' take on it. I see myself in many of the 10 emerging movements (that won't scare your grandfather). I also see myself more and more in the non-institutional crowd. I can look across all of these swaths - the traditional service we attend now, the mega-churches we've been a part of, the small charismatic basement churches, the missional communities, the emerging churches - and see how they have all challenged and blessed me, infuriated and limited.
The emerging church conversation and priorities feels like a suck of my time and energy now. My intention isn't to point the finger or to make anyone feel like somehow they've let me down - they haven't. It's just that I'm not investing any of my energy there anymore. I feel exhausted by it, sucked of my energy by petty blog postings and more and more books put out for me to read.
Maybe it's because the States is a bit further behind in this regard. The rest of us - Europe, Canada and much of the western world - have been in a post-Christian world for a generation longer. So we've emerged. Let's get on living now. It's been a big shift, I couldn't agree more with Phyllis Tickle's The Great Emergence (fantastic book). But now it's here.
I've been thinking more and more about what I want my life to be about. And it's not represented in most of the conversations within the emerging church crowd anymore.
Ultimately, the reason why I feel rather done with it all is this: it's getting in my way. It's just a distraction to what I really love and need: Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I want to be a part of God's heart for the world, an expression of unabashed love and joy, peace and patience.
I'm trying to live a real life here and this isn't helping. I've written before about my frustrations. But I hung on.
And now I've realised that, somehow, I've let go. I haven't made a big decision to do so. That would be like saying "I've decided to outgrow my shoes." It simply happened. It doesn't fit me anymore.
The emerging church movement is a big influence in my spiritual journey. But a fork in the road has come and I'm not going along with Tony Jones or Brian McLaren anymore (by the way, at some point, I'm sure TJ will realise how weird it is that he won't address the dissolution of his marriage - the lack of comment is getting bigger than any comment could have been. Gracious. So much for flat hierarchy, community and transparency). I had a good laugh about the obituary of the Emerging Church and tend to agree with Andrew Jones' take on it. I see myself in many of the 10 emerging movements (that won't scare your grandfather). I also see myself more and more in the non-institutional crowd. I can look across all of these swaths - the traditional service we attend now, the mega-churches we've been a part of, the small charismatic basement churches, the missional communities, the emerging churches - and see how they have all challenged and blessed me, infuriated and limited.
The emerging church conversation and priorities feels like a suck of my time and energy now. My intention isn't to point the finger or to make anyone feel like somehow they've let me down - they haven't. It's just that I'm not investing any of my energy there anymore. I feel exhausted by it, sucked of my energy by petty blog postings and more and more books put out for me to read.
Maybe it's because the States is a bit further behind in this regard. The rest of us - Europe, Canada and much of the western world - have been in a post-Christian world for a generation longer. So we've emerged. Let's get on living now. It's been a big shift, I couldn't agree more with Phyllis Tickle's The Great Emergence (fantastic book). But now it's here.
I've been thinking more and more about what I want my life to be about. And it's not represented in most of the conversations within the emerging church crowd anymore.
Ultimately, the reason why I feel rather done with it all is this: it's getting in my way. It's just a distraction to what I really love and need: Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I want to be a part of God's heart for the world, an expression of unabashed love and joy, peace and patience.
Has it become a meditator? A distractor like most other movements and institutions, a way to play church, or look busy? Anything to avoid the reality of life and relationship with God will do. We can hide from God in rebellion or in religion. And the EC feels like a bit of a religion to me now.
It's dawned on me that it doesn't fit anymore. And I'm sure I'm not alone. I'm not declaring death or writing eulogies. But I'm not paying attention anymore either.
UPDATED TO ADD: I wrote a follow up to this post to try to clarify my thoughts and answer a few questions. You can click here to read that one.
UPDATED TO ADD: I wrote a follow up to this post to try to clarify my thoughts and answer a few questions. You can click here to read that one.
